Got it working now, had wrong version of wifi remote
For some reason despite there efforts to make vista/7 easier to use I just find it much more complecated to use, I hate the start menu design, much prefer the XP one and the search function is just useless. if I have to search my htpc I do it via my XP desktop machine, it's easier and actually finds the files you know exist.
I guess I've really just not used it enough to get the hang of it with it being only the backend to my HTPC I don't really see it much.
I've tried it on my main PC a couple times but the longest I lasted was 3 days with things like fort knox security and the fact that you need to be the President to have enough permissions to delete an empty folder off the desktop was enough to drive me back to XP
God knows what the security on windows 8 is going to be like.